GUH! I want to try new things, I really do.

I’ve been looking forward to going to Knitting club tonight (Knittaz with Attitude - they yarnbomb things etc) after a friend invited me to come on Friday, to learn to knit and also take some pictures. But now I have no-one to go with because the one person who showed interest has dropped out and the rest of the people I asked didn’t even bother replying to my messages, and started having a panic attack at the thought of walking into a room full of strangers on my own and having them turn and look at me and be all ‘who’s she? what’s she doing here?’ and stuff and now I’m just a panicked mess who wants to curl up into bed and start punching myself in the head for being unable to start a new hobby and meet new people without the help or support from anyone!!ARGH!!!!!!!!!

I honestly hate myself sometimes. I am such a fuck up.