Freaking Therapists

They really need to stop deciding I'm okay enough to not have weekly or every-two-week appointments, minimum. Seriously, it keeps happening that the moment I don't have an appointment for three more weeks, or a month, or six weeks or whatever my life goes to shit in a hurry. It's not always that they've decided I've gotten better. Usually, actually, it's them trying to transfer me over to another doctor and it taking a while for me to get the schedule working.

But seriously, the first time (when my doctor HAD decided I was well enough to only need monthly appointments) I broke down so badly she sent me to the hospital at the next appointment. Then next time (when I was switching from that doctor to my current location) I spent two weeks huddled in my room just trying to get my anti-depressants and maybe some food daily. This time (transferring to a new therapist after the previous one moved to Chicago) my brain decided to no longer be able to handle any stress just as I was hitting a big deadline in one of my clubs and as my mom decided to start pushing me to get a job (which is one of my big long-term goal for treatment, something I've just recently been able to picture happening, maybe, in a couple months) when she KNOWS that is extremely stressful for me. And when I told her to stop asking me to get a job because I really am not emotionally capable of doing so right now in the conversation immediately following that (and maybe 2 minutes later) she called me spoiled. After hanging up from that call I proceeded to cry into my roommate's shirt for five straight minutes about how much of a bitch my mom is being (she's been through the mental health system and still sees a therapist regularly. She should know enough to not be a complete jackass to her child)

Gah, I hope my new therapist isn't as constantly booked as having to schedule my first appointment with him three weeks in advance suggests. If he is I'm going to have to ask him to either transfer me to someone less booked or recommend a talk therapist (he's a CBT therapist) I can see weekly. It would be a shame to have to transfer away from him since my previous therapist said he was really good. But I cannot deal with only seeing a therapist once every three weeks.