Advice for talking to roommate

About a month ago now, my roommate had a Christmas party at our place. She had asked me if I would be okay with it a few days prior, and I didn't want to seem impolite or ruin her plans, so I said it was fine. But of course, I panicked about it, and ended up just closing myself in my room that Friday evening and not coming out until the next day, even turning my light off early so she wouldn't think I was awake/in there. She came and knocked on my door at one point, and afterward for the rest of the night I could hear her occasionally commenting on it, and she sounded very angry and upset that I wasn't there. Of course, in retrospect I realized the party wouldn't have been very bad, so I wanted to apologize, but never got the courage to do so. I'm planning on returning to my apartment in the next few days, and I don't know when my roommate will get there for the spring semester, but I want to apologize before we both return through email. While I had originally planned to do so in person, I think it would be hard for me to make my mouth make the words I really want to say, so an email would be best to explain what I want to.

But I would like some advice (or at least words of encouragement!) for this. Should I email, or apologize in another way? Also, since I haven't actually been diagnosed by a therapist, should I mention "social anxiety" or just explain that sometimes socializing/social events like parties make me anxious? I guess the hardest part of this will be talking about my feelings, because they're so personal. But my main goal is to try to get her to understand that my intentions were NEVER to be rude to her, and also to tell her I want to make this semester better. I wrote out a few different things I want to say previously, but I thought it would always be good to get others' opinions. This is a really tough issue to bring up with anyone else, but I thought maybe others had had some experience with explaining social anxiety and one's feelings to other people.

Thanks to anyone for listening.

Explain it to her in any way that you're comfortable with. For me, I think it's best via texts, since no one I know uses email anymore (otherwise, I probably would too). But if you want to talk to her about it also, try sending her a small dose of the issue and explain to her anything else in person.

I normally hate party myself, but occasionally I do go to one, only if I have a friend that I trust with my life. That manage to slightly help me get over my fear of being in a room full of people.

Good luck to you!

Thank you for replying! Actually I already emailed her (I ended up saying a lot more than I could ever have in a text, lol) and she responded well, and we're both back in the apartment now. I was just really afraid of confronting her about it face-to-face, since that can be really hard. Things are still awkward, but I told her that I want to improve things in general, so I hope she understands. She did say I could talk to her about it in any way I want in the future, so I guess she understands it a bit. I'm trying to think of it as somewhat of an improvement, whereas things were stagnant or declining before.

I think the worst thing about the party was that it was all people I didn't know, and mostly grad students (this is only my first semester here), so I wouldn't have had someone to stick to the whole night, and would've been worried about making conversation with strangers, basically. But hopefully things do improve for me!

That's good to hear that she understands! And I hope everything does work out for you!