So hello, I'm Alyssa.

My name is Alyssa, and I am 15 years old. In advance, I'm really sorry if I ramble. I've been diagnosed with depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, though social anxiety is one of my biggest problems. I remember being like this for a long time now. I just started at a new high school this year. Most of the people there know me as the shy or quiet girl, when it's really something much larger. When people talk to me I really try my best to fill in my side of the conversation, but I just can't. Meeting new people, or just having a conversation with someone that I don't know well, can set me on edge. Even walking through halls ways, I think that everyone is talking about me and judging me. Most of the time I can't even stay a whole day at school because my anxiety gets so bad. Sometimes I even get anxious talking to people on the internet. I like spending most of my time alone because that's how I feel most comfortable. Even though I like being by myself, I get really depressed when I am because I know that I'm all alone. Sorry if that doesn't make any sense, most of my thoughts are pretty contradictory. I know this is long, but thank you for reading this if you did :3

Rambling's totally cool, I read all of it and it did make sense - it's exhausting to be around people but being all alone gets lonely, yeah? And I know where you're coming from with trying to fill in your half of the conversation, when I'm talking to only one other person I feel like I'm counting the words or sentences and making sure I'm saying half of the things. Or if the other person was the last one to say something before a pause it's "my turn" to start a new topic and I blank out.