This Is Me...

Hello, so my name is Alyssa.

I don't know if I actually have a Social Anxiety Disorder, but ever since I was a young child I was never able to interact with people I don't know. It's like, I get scared that they're going to thing I'm a horrible person, or am weird or something and so I don't talk. I get all nervous and I my stomach gets all knotted up and I don't know what to do, so I stand there like a complete fool, usually smiling and nodding trying to get through my trainwreck of a social interaction.

I feel like maybe there's something wrong with me or something because, well, my sister is, and always has been, able to communicate easily with anyone and everyone, no matter how old they were, if she knew them or not, that's just kind of always been her thing. Sometimes she'll bug me about my not being able to interacte with strangers and she'll call me 'anti-social' because she thinks I just don't want to talk to them and that's why I don't say anything. What she doesn't know is that I do want to talk to them and make friends with them, I'm just too nervous to.

Recently, I started a new job, and in this new job I occasionally need to call people, which is almost worse than interacting with them in person, because when I talk to people in person I can just nod and smile, whereas when I call people I can't do that because they can't see me. On these phone calls there is a lot of information I need to get, because I work for the Ultra-Sound technologist in our town, and I need to book their appointements. Then there's also when they come in for their appointments and I need to check them in. I can't even hold a conversation, let-alone start one. It's getting to the point where I dread going to work for long periods of time because I know I will run out of things to do and will need to start calling people to be actually working.

Even writing this post is hard for me because I don't know the people that will be reading it, if any. I really think I will be able to overcome this though, because I am only 14 years old. *sigh* I just hope it happens soon so I can keep this job, and actually succeed in my career path. I will keep trying and working towards it, and I will never give up.
-Alyssa.

You should registered with this forum so you can easily keep track of your posts and personally talk with others. I have the same problem as you while growing up. I was always the anxious one, while my brother was also the talkative little guy (or at least when he was younger).

Telling your story online to strangers (with similar problems) isn't actually bad, it really did help me when I was around that age, I met a couple people (only online) because of it and the friendship was great.

I also hate talking on the phone and working with people, and you know what I'm doing now, working FOR people and in retail, as well as picking up calls. It was nerve racking at first, but I eventually got use to it. Good luck with everything!

Thank you, very much, I have registered actually, and I really hope that it will go away because I find it holds me back from things that I want to do. Your story gives me hope that things will get better with me, so now all I'm going to do is work through the nerves and try to get better. I am also going to try to find people on here with the same problem as me, so that I can learn new tricks to help it and just to feel 'less alone', in a way of speaking. I think my problem might be more insecurity and shyness than an actual disorder but, I'm sure there are still people here that will have the same experiences who I can talk to about everything. I appreciate the reply, and it made me feel a lot better, so thank you.